Look. I understand where you're coming from. Auditions are not in any way enjoyable. They're hard, they're incredibly stressful, and they can be enormously demoralizing.
It took me nearly 15 tries to land my first ICSOM gig. If we're counting the regional auditions I took, the overall audition count was probably closer to 25 by that point. Some of the darkest moments of my life took place after audition "failures."
But, I have to say that I actually found the process of audition preparation to be quite fulfilling. Going into the practice room day in and day out was a grind, but seeing improvement made it worth it. Every single time I got cut from an audition it was because I didn't play as well as I should have. So, I would try to figure out what went wrong and then do whatever was necessary to make sure that it didn't happen again the next time. And eventually, the stars miraculously aligned. But it never would have happened without failing many, many, many times.
If you really can't find any joy in the process, and if you're convinced that musicality and creativity are not the way to win a job, I'm not sure this field is for you. On the other hand, if you can embrace failure and see it as an opportunity for growth, go out there and get it.
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